You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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