You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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