I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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