I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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