Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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