guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
