your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
