I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
