I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize