I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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