I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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