he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
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I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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