I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
