used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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