Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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