never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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