I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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