i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
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Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.