I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!