I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
