just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize