In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Dear god my vagina.
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