just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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