would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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