as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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