Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
