cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i think i have herpe
just one?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
