No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
