How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
