Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
