You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
