at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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