Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
