I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
