If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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