She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
