I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
