You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
