life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
