I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The Olympian is in my bed
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
