Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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