I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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