had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
