hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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