at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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