I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
