4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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