Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
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I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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