great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I did not marry a roomba.
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