Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
either way he was missing a nipple.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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