worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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