Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
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just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
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I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.