: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to