I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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