Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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