I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
