new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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