I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Randomize
