All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
why is half of my head shaved?
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