One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
