I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
